Hotel Industry
Ok, So I need to get my focus back on my blog. Work has been a killer since I began 2006, but all good though. Here are so thoughts about my wonderful industry. Some will get, some ..well.. maybe not.. I love the first one.. it is so damm true..
What Is A Hotel Manager?
A Hotel Manager must be a diplomat, a democrat, an autocrat, an acrobat anda doormat. He must have the facility to entertain prime ministers, princesof industry, pickpockets, gamblers, bookmakers, pirates, philanthropists,popsies and prudes. He must be on both sides of the "political fence" andmust be able to jump or sit on that fence.He should be, or have been a footballer, golfer, bowler, tennis player,cricketer, dart player, sailor, pigeon fancier, motor racer and linguist aswell as have a good knowledge of any other sport involving dice, cards,horse racing and billiards.It is also most useful, as he has sometimes to settle arguments andsquabbles, that he should be a qualified boxer, wrestler, weight lifter,sprinter and peacemaker.He must always look immaculate-when drinking with ladies and gentlemanlisted in the first paragraph, as well as bankers, wankers, theatricals,commercial travelers and company representatives even though he has justmade peace between any of the two, four, six or more of the aforementionedpatrons.
To be successful he must keep the bar full, the rooms full, the store roomfull, the wine cellar full, the customers full and not get full of himself.He must have a staff who is clean, honest, quick workers, quick thinkers,non-drinkers, mathematicians, technicians and at times be on the boss'sside, the customers side and stay on the outside of the bar.To sum up: He must be outside, inside, offside, glorified, sanctified,crucified, stupefied, cross eyed and if he's not the strong silent typethere's always suicide....
You might be in the hotel industry if…………..
You may sit at the same desk for 4 years and worked for 8 different managers, sit at 4 differant desks in 4 differant hotels in 4 years.
Going for cocktails and dinner is” NOT your idea of a nice evening.
When someone asks your exact job profile, you never know how to exactly answer.
You really get excited about 2% pay increase.
You sit in a cubical smaller than your bedroom closet.
It’s dark on your drive to work and when you leave from work.
Communication is something your “Group” is having problem with.
You see a good looking person and you know it’s a visitor/guest.
Food left over from banquets or meeting is your main staple diet.
You forget what you look like in anything but a “suit”.
All the work you where hired to do gets done before 9 and after 5.
You are already late on an assignment you just received.
Your boss’s favorite lines are:
“When you get a minute………...”
“In your spare time…………..….”
“I have an opportunity for you….”
Vacation in something you roll over to next year, if you are allowed.
Change is norm.
Nepotism is encouraged.
Six month is considered to be substantial longevity.
You dial “9” before the number no matter where you are calling from.
When you are walking in public, you have to fight the urge to pick up little scraps of paper and rubbish on the floor.
Your toilet paper at home is folded in triangle on the first sheet.
Your answer on the phone at home “Hello this is…... how may I help you?”
Eating in hotel restaurants are no fun anynore, rather it is more exciting to eat in fast food retaurants.
You inspect your hotel room when traveling.
Most of all, You read this entire list and understand it!
Well thats it for the moment. I wont promise anymore to update, just will do it when I can! Take care everyone.. Happy 2006!
What Is A Hotel Manager?
A Hotel Manager must be a diplomat, a democrat, an autocrat, an acrobat anda doormat. He must have the facility to entertain prime ministers, princesof industry, pickpockets, gamblers, bookmakers, pirates, philanthropists,popsies and prudes. He must be on both sides of the "political fence" andmust be able to jump or sit on that fence.He should be, or have been a footballer, golfer, bowler, tennis player,cricketer, dart player, sailor, pigeon fancier, motor racer and linguist aswell as have a good knowledge of any other sport involving dice, cards,horse racing and billiards.It is also most useful, as he has sometimes to settle arguments andsquabbles, that he should be a qualified boxer, wrestler, weight lifter,sprinter and peacemaker.He must always look immaculate-when drinking with ladies and gentlemanlisted in the first paragraph, as well as bankers, wankers, theatricals,commercial travelers and company representatives even though he has justmade peace between any of the two, four, six or more of the aforementionedpatrons.
To be successful he must keep the bar full, the rooms full, the store roomfull, the wine cellar full, the customers full and not get full of himself.He must have a staff who is clean, honest, quick workers, quick thinkers,non-drinkers, mathematicians, technicians and at times be on the boss'sside, the customers side and stay on the outside of the bar.To sum up: He must be outside, inside, offside, glorified, sanctified,crucified, stupefied, cross eyed and if he's not the strong silent typethere's always suicide....
You might be in the hotel industry if…………..
You may sit at the same desk for 4 years and worked for 8 different managers, sit at 4 differant desks in 4 differant hotels in 4 years.
Going for cocktails and dinner is” NOT your idea of a nice evening.
When someone asks your exact job profile, you never know how to exactly answer.
You really get excited about 2% pay increase.
You sit in a cubical smaller than your bedroom closet.
It’s dark on your drive to work and when you leave from work.
Communication is something your “Group” is having problem with.
You see a good looking person and you know it’s a visitor/guest.
Food left over from banquets or meeting is your main staple diet.
You forget what you look like in anything but a “suit”.
All the work you where hired to do gets done before 9 and after 5.
You are already late on an assignment you just received.
Your boss’s favorite lines are:
“When you get a minute………...”
“In your spare time…………..….”
“I have an opportunity for you….”
Vacation in something you roll over to next year, if you are allowed.
Change is norm.
Nepotism is encouraged.
Six month is considered to be substantial longevity.
You dial “9” before the number no matter where you are calling from.
When you are walking in public, you have to fight the urge to pick up little scraps of paper and rubbish on the floor.
Your toilet paper at home is folded in triangle on the first sheet.
Your answer on the phone at home “Hello this is…... how may I help you?”
Eating in hotel restaurants are no fun anynore, rather it is more exciting to eat in fast food retaurants.
You inspect your hotel room when traveling.
Most of all, You read this entire list and understand it!
Well thats it for the moment. I wont promise anymore to update, just will do it when I can! Take care everyone.. Happy 2006!
Labels: Funny
posted by Simon says @ 1:17 pm
1 Comments:
At 5:24 pm,
Lazy Cook Easy Recipes said…
OMG! How true!!! I spent 6 years working in the hospitality industry (Australia and Singapore). In Singapore, I used to report work at 9.am and work through till 10-11pm at night, no one seems to leave at 7pm, and if you dare, you are only worth half a day pay. I guess Catering/Banquet Sales department is always busy. After my move to Australia, I assumed a (I thought) less demanding role as a Sales administrator. Now I sympathize with my colleagues when they said they do not have a life outside work.
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